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Home » 6 Good Things About Raising Teen Boys

6 Good Things About Raising Teen Boys

August 20, 2015 by Ten to Twenty 12 Comments

What’s So Great About Teen Boys?

I have four children, three of whom are adults and have (thankfully) flown the coop. I thought I had this whole, raising-teenagers-in-a-stress-free-zone thing down. Even patted myself on the back for getting them off to college without an arrest record or a shotgun wedding. And then came wild child number four, who could easily have been a poster child for birth control. This boy is the reason behind the industrial-size bucket of hair dye I use monthly to cover my gray and why I am a gold card carrying member of the local Wine-Mart. A typical morning with this kid involves matches, an aerosol can of cologne spray, and a plastic milk jug to set off the fire alarm … long before my coffee has kicked in.raising teen boys is an awesome experience

Despite the gray hairs and minor heart attacks I suffer daily from my son, I’ve discovered the positive side to raising crazy-ass teenage boys:

  1. You’ll no longer need to waste money on expensive theme parks with fast rides. Your teen will gladly attach your rolling office chair to his bike with a rope and pull his buddies down a busy highway. Like heart-stopping rides? This one’s for you.
  2. Piss yellow will become your favorite bathroom tile shade because there isn’t enough Clorox in the world to make those urine stains around the toilet disappear.  
  3. Like exotic pets? Great, because small critters love to nest in the sour-smelling pile of laundry at the back of your son’s closet. Dirty dishes and half eaten cheese sticks will also invite armies of cockroaches set up their vacation homes under his bed.
  4. If you failed science in high school, don’t worry. You’re going to get a hands-on education about fire, electricity, and how much damage a potato bomb can do to your neighbor’s fence.
  5. You’ll lose those last, stubborn ten pounds because all boys are born with noses like bloodhounds. They’ll sniff out every hidden cookie, potato chip, and even the chocolates from Mother’s Day that you tried to disguise in an empty Summer’s Eve douche box. Your grocery bill will triple during his teen years but your waistline will shrink. Just be sure to lock the liquor cabinet before he turns fifteen.
  6. Miss those nights of club hopping from your twenties? Relive your youth when your teenager hosts raves in his room while blasting techno and dubstep from subwoofers the size of refrigerators. Toss back some tequila shots chased by a few aspirin and you’ll feel like you’ve time traveled back to the good ol’ days at a fraternity house party.

Even though there will be days when you’ll wish you could lobotomize your son or trade him in for a house-trained Labrador, just remember how much fun it’ll be when he has sons of his own. Grab a lighter and load up the potato gun. Karma has a sense of humor, after all. 

BIO:

marcia-doyleMarcia Kester Doyle is the author of the humorous book, Who Stole My Spandex? and the voice behind the popular midlife blog, Menopausal Mother. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, The Mid, BlogHer, Humor Outcasts, Blunt Moms, In The Powder Room, the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop and numerous other sites. Find Marcia on her site, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

This post originally appeared on Marcia’s site. 
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Filed Under: Parenting, Relationships Tagged With: home life, marcia kester doyle, parenting, sons

Comments

  1. Michelle says

    August 20, 2015 at 10:09 am

    Oh sister…I recognize EVERY word…Boys are awesome. Thanks for this!
    Michelle recently posted..The Unfunniest Of The FunnyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

      August 20, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Gotta love ’em!
      Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted..A Mother’s Advice To Her Son On The Eve Of His Departure For CollegeMy Profile

      Reply
  2. Michelle Liew says

    August 20, 2015 at 11:05 am

    I used to teach teen boys….one classful, so I know exactly what you mean!
    Michelle Liew recently posted..On This Day in History – The Birth of H. P. LovecraftMy Profile

    Reply
    • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

      August 20, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      A whole class full?!? I can’t imagine!
      Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted..A Mother’s Advice To Her Son On The Eve Of His Departure For CollegeMy Profile

      Reply
  3. Shann Eva says

    August 20, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    OH no! I have three boys, and this is what’s to come?!?! I thought it was hard now. Oh boy.
    Shann Eva recently posted..A look Back – 70 Days in the NICUMy Profile

    Reply
    • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

      August 20, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Hahahaha! It’s an education, that’s for sure!
      Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted..A Mother’s Advice To Her Son On The Eve Of His Departure For CollegeMy Profile

      Reply
  4. JessiE, FlusteredMom says

    August 20, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    Change the bathroom color to yellow! That’s a fantastic idea, Marcia. Because to tell you the truth I’m totally sick of looking at pee stains constantly! I can’t believe I never thought of that. 🙂
    JessiE, FlusteredMom recently posted..Taming an Irate Hockey Player: Competitive Sports and AngerMy Profile

    Reply
    • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

      August 20, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Right??? I finally ripped out all of our tile on the bathroom floor because it was so disgusting!
      Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted..A Mother’s Advice To Her Son On The Eve Of His Departure For CollegeMy Profile

      Reply
  5. annabelt @ geeks diet says

    August 20, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    Uh-oh, one year to go here!
    annabelt @ geeks diet recently posted..Best Shakespeare Monologues… by Klingons, Teletubbies, Tom Hiddleston and two year oldsMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

    August 22, 2015 at 1:24 am

    Get ready for the ride of your life…..
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted..Fly On The Wall In A Home For LunaticsMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Melissa Senecal says

    August 24, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    Mine greetede yesterday as I got home from work and approached the back door “Just a heads up, we were experimenting with the blender!” Fortunately there was not a huge mess but lots of things in the fridge were low or missing! I don’t really want to know what all they did, as long as there was no damage, no harm done!
    Melissa Senecal recently posted..Nautical NonsenseMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Rosie @Eco-Gites of Lenault says

    August 25, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Yes x 10 (I’ve got a teen and a soon to be teen) – wish me luck!
    Rosie @Eco-Gites of Lenault recently posted..Home-made roasted tomato PassataMy Profile

    Reply

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