A Letter From the Coach’s Wife

A Letter From the Coach’s Wife

What the Coach’s Wife Wants You to Know

I walked into the crowded locker room. I gently tapped a mom on the shoulder, who turned around. Her eyes lit up. “Heyyyyyy!” she said happily. A few other parents turned to look. I made eye contact and we exchanged knowing smiles.

This was the scene last week after my ten-year-old son’s hockey practice. Half the team is returning from last season so many of the parents already know each other. Plus, I’m sleeping with the head coach. (Ha!) Yes, my husband is the head coach of hockey team for the second year in a row.

So this makes me First Lady? Coach’s wife? Assistant Coach? Manager? Knower of everything?Dear-team-I-know-nothing

No. This makes me the woman who knows nothing and is afraid that everyone thinks I know something!

So I’d better set the parents straight NOW, especially since half our team is new this year and might EXPECT something from me.

I’m thinking of sending an email like this one:

Dear Parents,

Hi, my name is Katy and I’m married to your child’s hockey coach. Welcome to his team! I wanted to take this opportunity to lower your expectations of my involvement and make explicit what I do and do not know.

I DO know:

  • That goals are good,
  • The Detroit Red Wings are awesome,
  • When my husband is out of town for business and when he’s coming back,
  • and what kind of gift card he might prefer if you want to thank him at the end of the year.

I DON’T know:

  • Much about hockey besides that goals are good and the Detroit Red Wings are awesome,
  • When our next game is,
  • When our next practice is,
  • Where our next game or practice is (hey, his dad always takes him to and from practices or games!)
  • Why your child plays one position but not another,
  • Who is going to be captain this year,
  • All that blue line/offsides/icing stuff,
  • and particularly how to get my miserable 6-year-old daughter unattached from my leg at every one of her big brother’s practices and games where her dad is also behind the bench and unavailable to help me with my miserable 6-year-old daughter.

Again, welcome to my husband’s team! Any questions about anything, please feel free to contact him!

I hope it’s an awesome year!


Katy, aka the coach’s wife, but not the manager or assistant coach or anyone who really knows much about the team.

How about you readers? Do you have expectations from the coach’s spouse when your child plays sports?

Katy M. Clark blogs as the “Experienced” Bad Mom. That’s because everything she’s done wrong with her first child, she’s done wrong with her second child as well! She embraces her imperfections and shares them on Experienced Bad Mom. Come follow and laugh with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.


This post first appeared on Katy’s site.

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