Are You a Sad Excuse For a Teenager?
This 30-point check list may help you to diagnose your poor performance as an angsty teen.
1. Less than half of the songs on the downloads chart appeal to you.
2. It doesn’t upset you to miss a wild, drama-filled party you wouldn’t have enjoyed anyways.
3. You gave up on trends quite a while ago.
4. You can cook a meal. Without a toaster.
5. You have no desire to date a vampire. Because they suck. Seriously.
6. You can get to the end of a sentence without swearing.
7. You have to ask a friend to de-code your newest text message.
8. You shake your head at the sights of teenagers screaming at their parents in stores.
9. You kindly tell Dizzy-P you’d rather not go behind the bike shed with him, thanks.
10. Buying drugs seems extremely unappealing to you.
11. You go up to the check-out by yourself.
12. You see two pairs identical of shoes, and choose the cheaper one over “cool” brands.
13. You think some misconceptions about teenagers are justified. They take idiotic things too seriously.
14. Strangers don’t automatically mean foreign, cruel and unintelligent.
15. You worry about society come thirty years.
16. You believe the idea of a thirteen-year-old having sex is always disgusting. Not “liberating”.
17. Other teenagers laugh at your post-modern stylishness.
18. You are continually shocked by how little your peers know about the rest of the world.
19. You can only imagine how difficult is to raise kids – we’re serious pains in the a55 sometimes.
20. You stand by the belief that the drinking age should not be lowered to twelve.
21. You don’t make fun of gay, or possibly gay people.
22. You believe many teenagers are media-infested lunatics.
23. You’re dissapointed when you get a bad grade, for your sake, and not your parents.
24. It’s been one or more years since Mother put away the gagging ball and ropes – you don’t need to be tied to a chair to do your homework anymore.
25. It may, in some universe, be remotely possible for the cool kids to be wrong.
26. You dislike many celebrities, but resist the temptation to fire hatred at them online.
27. You want to eventually have a job. A real one.
28. Yesterday, you went a whole day without fighting your parents.
29. You have little to no problems. Your nemesis’ creative thinking doesn’t concern you.
30. Last but not least – you’re single voluntarily, because teen relationships have a 2% success rate.*
*Of course. And you don’t go unicorn hunting because they’ve been extinct for 54 years.
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