A Conversation Between a Tween and her Mom
Things are changing within me that I don’t understand.
I need you to understand but don’t ask me a ton of questions.
When you do ask, just listen to me cause there are times when I don’t want your advice, just your ears and time.
In my mind, I want you to be there for me, but I can’t make my mouth say the words.
You know that you are an awesome mom, in a few more years, though, I won’t say it so much.
I am no longer a baby, though, I still cry when I stomp my pinky toe or when my best friend is mean to me.
I will try to keep my room clean, but I am cleaning it my way, not your’s.
Thanks for buying me that new outfit but you should have asked me if I liked it before you bought it cause I am never gonna wear it.
Ok, back to me. Really want you to see that I am trying to grow up but still want to be able to sit on your lap, even though my legs are just as long as yours.
Just know that over the next few years, I will cry, laugh, get mad, be happy, all within a 5 second blink.
Don’t you remember this stage? Well, any year that starts with 19 would be kinda hard to remember.
Ok, back to me. I look up to you, you are my example. I want to stay connected to you even though I will explore ways to be independent.
My growing up doesn’t have to be painful for either of us.
Know that I will mess up, but I need to know that you got my back.
I know what you have put in me, I just gotta figure out how to act it out.
Ok, too much talking, thanks mom, can I go ride my bike now?
Hi there. I’m your mom and here are some things you should really know about me.
Yes, I know that you are changing.
My mom super powers tell me to ask you a ton of questions but my heart may not be ready to accept your answers.
I am trying to figure out if you want my advice, or should I just shut up and listen.
I can tell when you’re really hurt though, your voice changes and you immediately start talking the minute you get in the car.
That’s good, I want that to continue. I’ll ease up on the questions.
Thanks for calming my nerves about being a good mom, I wonder about that a lot. I don’t want to screw up!
Can’t believe that you are taller than my shoulders, in a few months, you’ll probably be taller than me. Don’t let the height fool you though!
Please know that it’s ok to cry, doesn’t mean that you are a baby. Crying is an outlet, and a human expression. This is why when I am hurting, I let you see me cry.
Ok, I know, talking too much.
We gotta work on this cleaning thing. As long as you are cleaning, I guess I can let you do it your way.
I am tired of taking clothes back to stores to exchange, so please tell me which outfits you like.
You will find that many women cry, laugh, get mad, get happy, all within the blink of 5 seconds. Realize that this doesn’t make you a weirdo.
And any year that starts with 19 means that I have experience and have learned how to maneuver this thing called “life”.
I know in your head, you think I don’t know what I am talking about but again, don’t be fooled.
I do what I do so that I can be a great example for you, regardless of when we are having fun versus when I gotta call you out on stuff.
My desire is for us to stay connected as you grow up, sometimes, makes me go overboard. That means it’s important to me.
I know that over the next few years, both of us will probably say some “not so nice” things to each other. I pray that we can forgive each other.
I am not perfect, I don’t try to be. I work on being the best version of me that I can be. I want you to do the same: Be You.
Don’t give up on yourself. I got your back.
I will continue to pour into you, feeling confident that you will find your best way to act it out.
Ok, you know I can keep going with this talking thing. You need a break before we move on to the next topic?
About Tiffany: Tiffany Benyacko blogs at unRehearsed, where she writes about raising an extroverted, prepubescent girl, who is in tweenhood. With a daughter well past sippy cups and diapers, Tiffany (an introvert and premenopausal (unofficially)) tries to figure out how to keep her daughter’s tweenhood terrific while keeping her own identity intact. You can find her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!