Dating Excuses Vs. Accountability
So I got rear-ended last week.
Minding my own business at a red light, a woman plowed right into me. I drove into a gas station and got out of my car to evaluate the damage and here’s what she said, “Yeah, my foot must have slipped off the brake.”
Seriously? That’s it? You expect me to believe that you can embed your license plate logo into my bumper at idle speeds if your foot happens to “slip off the brake?” No remorse, no emotion, just a straight-faced excuse delivered with a less-than-authentic apology. Right.
The police officer that came to the scene of the “accident” had a different take on it. He had probably heard that story a thousand times and was pretty good at determining what REALLY happened. Skid marks, witnesses, and the size of the “ding” told the story – not the words out of the other driver’s mouth.
Do you have a boyfriend with excuses? “My foot slipped off the brake; I couldn’t stop myself from bumping into my old girlfriend.” Does your girlfriend look at you with her big blue eyes and say, “Oops, I didn’t know I would run into him at the party.”
Dating another person is a big responsibility. Honesty and integrity will be key in helping you form an authentic relationship. Here are some things you can do to gauge your own contribution:
- Stop and reflect. Filter your words to reflect the truth about the situation or circumstances. Use the facts not the feelings to give an honest account of what really happened.
- Speak the truth. Before you offer an excuse for your behavior, take responsibility for the part you played. Even if the offense was unintended or by accident, “I’m sorry” will still go a long way help resolve the problem
- Keep your “but” out of it. Whenever you offer an apology followed by a “but,” it negates any remorse and will likely inflame the situation.
No question, accidents happen. But regardless, it is a good idea to look at ALL the evidence and determine what part of the story is true and what part is your responsibility. There is a difference between sorry because you did it and sorry because it happened – both can be appropriate. How much truth are you learning about the person you are dating as well as yourself? Most often, integrity has a way of speaking for itself.
Love Quote: “Your response is your responsibility”
For practical application to improve your relationships, learn more HERE.
About Lisa – Lisa Jander, the “Teen Dating Mechanic,” believes that by teaching teens about the risks in dating we can shift their thinking about relationships in this culture. As a Certified Relationship Coach, Public Speaker and Author of a book titled, “Dater’s Ed: Driver’s Ed Model for Dating,” Lisa is passionate about promoting family education to STOP reckless dating before it begins. You can find Lisa on her site, Twitter, and on Facebook.
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