Imaginary Poison Ivy

Imaginary Poison Ivy
Imaginary Poison Ivy

Imaginary Poison Ivy  15-May-2012

It’s that time of year again when carpool has become complete anarchy, bedtime has slipped markedly with the extension of evening daylight, and…  my remaining days of being able to go to lunch with people my own age are numbered!

So here are some highlights from last week’s elementary school lunch adventures…

At some point in a recent lawn mowing endeavor, I got a bit too close to the back fence, and inadvertently got poison ivy on my ankles and wrists.  It’s mostly gone now, but I had to cover a couple of the spots on my wrists to keep myself from clawing at it.  Since they were small spots, they required only small band-aids, and my options for that size were either Hot Wheels of Fairies.  Easy choice…  the Hot Wheels band-aid proudly sported my favorite Hot Wheels car of all time, ‘Roger Dodger’, from waaaaay back in the 1900’s when I was a kid!  I had no idea this decision would spark such controversy!

With 5th grade boys, it was a big hit!  “Cool band-aid man, what’d you do?”  I wish I’d thought ahead to come up with a story about fighting off Ninjas or something, but I did win big when I noticed that, halfway through my boooooring poison ivy story, several of the boys started involuntarily itching.  Then a couple more asked why everyone was itching, so I told them too.  All about how sometimes when you sit next to someone who has poison ivy, you might get it too.  The whole table was scratching away when it came time for them to head back to class…  Heheh, I gave a half a dozen or so 5th grade boys imaginary poison ivy…  you’d think someone would have banished me from the cafeteria by now?

My victory was quickly squelched when the 3rd grade ladies arrived though, and I fear that even though no one actually said it in these words, my masculinity may have been in question!  I explained that I thought the Hot Wheels band-aid was far more manly than the Fairy band-aid would have been, but the majority seemed to rule that neither choice was especially masculine.  One of Sophie’s besties who sits with us often tried really hard to console me by nodding approvingly, as if trying to agree wholeheartedly with my decision…  yet while her decisively positive nod said, “Of course, Mr. Sophie’s Dad, it was a good choice,”  her eyes still clearly said, “You are SO a Fairy band-aid!”  She knows me too well!  Excellent manners in the face of a difficult social situation, in any case.

Apparently girls are immune to imaginary poison ivy though?  And boys start an awful lot of their sentences with, “I was in the bathroom, and…”  The best of both worlds!!!

As much as I’m looking forward to the summer with no homework and late bedtimes, I’m also going to miss lunching at school!!!

Cheers from The Ivy

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