Teen Dating With Unrealistic Expectations
Jackson was madly in love with Mercedes-Benz.
Jackson bought a Kia. Not based on the cost but based solely on his observation that the Benz and the Kia had some things in common: both had engines, both could get him from point “A” to point “B” and both came in metallic blue. Jackson was confident that by giving the Kia a chance, it would ultimately transform into the Benz that he knew he deserved and desperately wanted.
As ridiculous as this story is, it is unfortunately a familiar depiction of how many people approach love. They make their list but then meet someone who meets only 40% of their “requirements” which becomes just enough to justify falling in love. As the relationship develops, he or she becomes certain that by virtue of the love for the other person, they will change that person into something they are not.
Car shopping is much easier than looking for love. When you pick up the vehicle brochure and read the spec sheet, the facts and options are clearly black and white. You can choose your features, rent or lease, test drive and even trade it in for a newer model. And insurance will protect your investment in case of an accident.
Falling in love on the other had is far more complex and personal. By starting off with the best possible choice to begin with, you will have a far better chance at success. Dating a High School dropout, on the other hand, when your goal is to marry a brain surgeon is a red flag for unrealistic expectations. No matter how good your driving skills are, you will never be able to turn a Kia into a Mercedes, it just won’t happen. What will happen in dating is that you can spend thousands of hours and dollars trying to “convert” someone and end up frustrated, disappointed and possibly even crushed.
Are you dating someone “with potential” hoping to transform that person with your love? If so, please step away from the vehicle and read the facts. The facts don’t lie and that Kia will never be the Mercedes you are longing to have. Is it worth the emotional investment to find out the hard way in love?
About Lisa: Lisa Jander, the “Teen Dating Mechanic,” believes that by teaching teens about the risks in dating we can shift their thinking about relationships in this culture. As a Certified Relationship Coach, Public Speaker and Author of a book titled, “Dater’s Ed: Driver’s Ed Model for Dating,” Lisa is passionate about promoting family education to STOP reckless dating before it begins. You can find Lisa on her site, Twitter, and on Facebook.
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