The Toothpaste Tradition
Almost ready for Christmas here. Almost. All that I have left are the stocking stuffers.
Turns out, I actually do some research before I buy the stocking stuffers. Don’t get me wrong, I stuff some normal stuff in there too- favorite candies, little oddities I found that I thought each kid would like.
What’s really fun about stockings here, though, is an odd tradition we have that was born several years ago in post-divorce poverty: The Toothpaste Tradition.
You see, it was a very bare year that year. Power bill had already been floated for other more noble causes, etc. Not much under the tree. I’d previously purchased new electric toothbrushes because they were on clearance, and I got them dirt cheap. Dental care is just as important as power! Disappointed with how thin and trim our stockings were that year, I thought what the heck, I’ll put those toothbrushes in there too. Some coupons. Leftover pizza. Anything to fatten up those stockings!
I’d forewarned the young’ns that it was going to be a really thin Christmas that year, and in spite of them truly not seeming to care at all, I was not a jolly soul that Christmas morning. Until, that is, the kids dug into their stockings…
Both kids have had many years of intensive training in the art of smart-assery. Both kids are young masters of the art already, even at their young ages.
At first, Ezra choked back the giggles when he pulled the tooth brush out of his stocking. After investigating it for a few seconds, he went straight into a ‘bit’ I’ll remember forever, and I could only describe to you as some sort of “Little Timmy got that heart transplant he needed for Christmas, and it was a miracle!” routine…
Choking back fake tears, he said, “Wow, Dad. I can’t believe it! I’ve always wanted a new toothbrush for Christmas! How did you know? This is the best Christmas ever!!!” Then he rushed over to me to give me that “Pinocchio thanking you for making him a real boy” hug that every parent wants on Christmas morning! Then he went back to playing with his new toothbrush as if it was the greatest toy ever made. Oh, that kid! We had to mop the sarcasm up off the floor when he was done.
While I tried to gain back my composure from the hysterical laughter that followed his skit, I noticed Sophie dashing to her stocking to see if she got one too… and when she got ahold of it, she bolted directly to her bathroom to test it out! She wasn’t joking- she was truly that excited.
Win!?! I’ll take it!
Every year since then, I’ve stuffed some dental care things in each stocking- those cute little dental floss pick things, some travel size products, an odd flavored toothpaste here and there. Anything new that they haven’t seen before. None of it expensive. Every year, Ezra does some sort of “Timmy’s heart transplant” skit and Sophie rushes off to try the new dealiemabobbers. I always look forward to both!
Sledding at the dragstrip. High bank turns at the speedway Christmas lights. Toothpaste in the stockings. We’re a bit untraditional here. And I wouldn’t have it any other way…
Cheers from The www.ThreeFiveZero Christmas